Experiments in psychedelic fungus part 1
Ahem, well tonight was an educational and research driven mission into the world of psychedelic mycology.
After talking to dougal earlier we decided it would be a great day for science if we purchased some mexican cubensis mushrooms for the purposes of education and research (as was recommended on the bag)
I then went to Ice9 to purchase said fungi and walked away satisfied with two 30g bags of fresh hallucinogenic produce.
At around 20:00 i decided to eat all of my bag,and was delighted to discover they had a nutty yet meaty taste and a firm but creamy texture.
I was joined in my journey into unlocking my mind and consciousness by dougal and sarah who ate half a bag each on pizza.
Within half an hour of consumption sarah had started to giggle, i believe the technical term is "like a twat". And repeated phrases such as "Wow look at that, no REALLY look at that" and "Awesome!! the things" without fully expanding on the glorious technicolour her mind was opening for her.
In my opinion everything had got a lot more orange.
My steadfast companion dougal sat there grinning and occasionally concurring with "Hmmm yeah"
At this point his trousers were of great delight to all of us and we watched as the patterns moved about a bit Myself transfixed on one pattern which appeared to be getting slightly smaller yet staying the same size, this conundrum puzzled me as my own intellectual processes were slowed by what felt like treacle.
At about this point dougal got off the sofa to reveal what was clearly a gaping hole down the side which was sucking everything in, clear to no one but Sarah that is.
Working on the hypothesis that the hole was there but i just couldn't see it i tried to climb in and found that in actual fact it was just sofa. sarah however seemed very much disturbed by my tempting fate with the hole and instructed me "Don't fuck with the hole". I decided it was best to not fuck with the invisible hole that only sarah could see.
At this point Sarah was quite agitated and having what i believe to be a "freak out" at the gaping yet unproven hole and wanted to go back to her room which had "lots of sparkly and pretty things to look at" so we decided to go back to sarahs house.
This was not as simple as it sounded as it involved Sarah putting her shoes on.
the comment that wearing shoes was her first mistake was met with hilarity, though looking back i can't see why.
after much giggling and fumbling we got up to depart my house, me wearign my dressing gown as i couldn't find my hoodie, the realisation that my hoodie was in actual fact at sarahs house was, again met with hilarity,again hindsight sheds no light on this apparent spontaneous mirth.
Upon leaving the kitchen craig threatened me with what appeared like a whisk (based on witness testimonials it was in actual fact a whisk) i decided his small whsk was not match for my mighty whisk and demonstrated it's power and ease of use to him, he seemed slightly bemused as from what i can gather i was just waving my hands at him and making a "Eeeragherghrrrherrheg" noise at him although it is clear to see how someone may mistake one for the other,
After Sarah vocalising his displeasure with both my sofa and my house (although it is a well known fact that my sofa is indeed horrible yet to my knowledge free from gaping all-swallowing holes.) the journey to Sarahs was met with much giggling and at many points stopping to look at the sky while being instructed to "look at the sky, no REALLY look at the sky". after observing the sky for a minute i came to the conclusion it was a bit cloudy and nothing more, i was beginning to get the nagging feeling that the full potential of the mushrooms had not been reached in me.
Looking back this was a very silly idea as we were all supressing giggle while trying to look as normal as possible despite the constant staring at "things" (Sarah was never more specific on what these "things" were)and myself wearing a dressing gown.
At the dunkirk flyover we were met by a man who had apparently run out of petrol and needed a push.
Being the upright member of the community that i am i helped the man push his car onto the bit that was stained with pigeon excrement, with my dressing gown as a cloak i felt almost superheroesque.
The rest of the journey continued on the same theme of constant stops to look at things which i was seemingly unable to see and reaffirmation that everything was a bit orange.
Upon arriving at Sarahs house i was confronted with the minor issue of a missing phallus, though after a swift investigation it was around were i had left it albeit inside my body.
the opening of sarahs door took much effort especially as i had just informed her she had a really small knocker and that her head was the size of the knocker although it was probably a trick of perspective.
On entering the house i retrived my wayward member and amid cries of success, urinated disappointed at having to use the light as i couldn't see in the dark.
The stairs then became an issue for all of us especially as the top ones appeared to get bigger near the top.
On entering the room dougal lay on the bed and infomed us his report on events would be available tomorrow and sarah who was appearing to have trouble staying on the bed clung to dougal.
At this point i discovered that everything was returning to normal and a great sense of disappointment struck me.
after an hour of lying on the floor looking at the ceiling in expectation of wondrous shapes and colours and being disappointed on all fronts i announced my intentions to depart.
after much studying of dougals trousers i informed him "Dude, your trousers aren't working anymore" to which sarah replied "i am way beyond trousers right now". so leaving dougal to his grinning and poking the ceiling and leaving sarah in her post-trouser state i made my exit feeling disappointed and slightly cheated.
To summarise:
- things went a bit blurry at the edges and pulsed slightly if looked at for too long.
- things went a bit orange.
- I giggled a bit and did things i now feel a bit foolish for doing.
- I failed to see any wondrous colours or magic swirling patterns.
- Dougal and Sarah appeared to have a much better time on half the amount of mushrooms
conclusions:
- I need to eat more in future
Discuss.
Current Mood:  disappointed
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big_fat_stu's journal
accomplished
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this which i found using above website and makes me laugh.
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